“You told me it was too late”: An autoethnographic reflection on (not) knowing and bereavement

A parent diagnosed with terminal cancer is focused on their own struggle with life and death. They often do not have the mental capacity to think rationally about what is in the best interest of their child at this time. Without a doubt, the grieving process of a child 1who is informed about their parent’s diagnosis will have a different experience than a child who is not informed. Following on an autoethnographic approach I will revisit my past experience of my mom’s diagnosis with lung cancer and my father’s diagnosis of a cancerous tumor on his vocal cords as I share, explore, and reflect upon my involvement in both matters. These experiences will be shared along with the six stages of grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler as I provide a deeper understanding of how a child being informed or uninformed throughout the diagnosis can impact their feelings of guilt and sorrows leading up to death. Keywords: Palliative care, Cancer, Children, Parental Cancer, Communication, Relationship, Behaviour